never mind the walking, here’s your trouble

He’s forwardly AND upwardly mobile. Pray for me.

July 13, 2008 | Filed Under toddler | 5 Comments

Happy third birthday, Oh-boy

Owen turned 3 yesterday. I haven’t had such a fun day with him in ages — we made play-doh pizzas, construction-paper party hats, and a yellow cake with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles. We did the grocery shopping together and split a bagel. All day long we giggled at each other, swapping “Happy Birthdays” and running around. After dinner he blew out all his candles and was most impressed with the playmobil pirate set we gave him. He played with it up until and then way past bedtime and then this morning, first thing — ran right past me, disregarded breakfast entirely, and sat down to the important business of making pirates shoot each other and find treasure.

He is now officially a preschooler in my book, not a toddler any more; any kid who can read his own name isn’t so babyish as all that. While the specter of potty training looms over us this year, so does the beckoning angel of preschool. He is madly eager to ride the bus to school, where he’ll do his “work,” and asks me each day where his school is. I tell him we haven’t chosen one, which is true, and I’ve broached the subject that most schools won’t take a boy his age in diapers. We’ll see how that particular stumbling block gets dissolved.

He’s just so much fun. I love hanging out with him, following where his mind goes, keeping up with his interests. I love the way he dresses up, too — always pulling his hat down over one eye to serve as an eyepatch, cocking his construction helmet to the front to be a football player.

Two was pretty good, but I think three is going to be even better.

January 6, 2008 | Filed Under preschooler, toddler | 13 Comments

RAYGUNS

If Owen had his way, his whole life would be split between waffles, Toy Story, and running around shooting lasers at people.

January 2, 2008 | Filed Under pix, toddler | 9 Comments

Requesting a copy of the Toddler Answer Key, please

“Is it later?”

What? Like right now? Is it later right now? *gears whir, brain explodes*

December 20, 2007 | Filed Under toddler | 1 Comment

Is there a poodle in your doodle?

Man! The kind of baby talk I come up with when changing diapers. It’s criminal.

So. What is it, ~~Wednesday? Only Wednesday~~? Damn. Thursday, you say? OK then.

This week started out hideously low, lower than low, Mariana Trench low. Cormac would not sleep and would not sleep. I said some things in my Lullaby Voice that I am glad he does not have the vocabulary to understand. I drafted posts in my mind to the tune of “Girls, Make Sure You Refill That Birth Control Prescription.” I cried. It was double plus ungood.

And then, in the afternoon, both boys gave me an hour of uninterrupted Quiet Time. I scooted straight upstairs, opened my Machine Made Patchworks Vol. 2 (thanks, Japan, for being so cool) and started sewing.

And from there, things have generally been looking up. Amazing what a little Zen Time can do for a body. Those anxiety fits from last week are calming down — I totally and completely have you all to thank, you and your wise words of advice and soothing. I am still doing pretty well on my new Eat Healthy regimen, although … I am having intestinal sadness again. I don’t know what’s wrong with my insides but I am pretty sure something is. I have a referral for a gastro doc so I’ll give him a call sometime. Surely. Surely I can find some time in the day to call a doctor.

Anyway. Things in general: looking good. Lots of Christmas gifts to start making. Found a great recipe for peppermint bark, thanks to a friend in Tennessee. It snowed yesterday — thanks, Weather! And we put up our Christmas tree. Oh, and Mac slept through the night and Owen has taken to calling me “Honey.”

Things are looking up. At least that’s what my perpetual inner optimist keeps saying. I have no choice but to listen to her.

December 6, 2007 | Filed Under baby, blather, toddler | 4 Comments

He gets points for creativity

The other day I asked Owen to please go to his room, it was time for a diaper change. He flopped to the ground. He wriggled and wraggled. We had a heated argument (“Do it!” “No!” “Come on!” “Don’t wanna!”). Finally I moved to pick him up bodily from his present location and he made like a sack of flour.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I don’t have any bones.”

“You what?”

“I don’t have any bones.” And with that his tongue lolled out and he was as floppy as a rag doll who was about to get a time-out so his mother could laugh behind her hands.

December 5, 2007 | Filed Under toddler | 5 Comments

The internet saved his tiny bottom

Today’s NaBloPoMo bonus post: How to get ballpoint pen out of your microfiber lounger. (Alcohol truly is an all-purpose solution).

Not yet printed: How to get small children out of your hair. I tell you what, handing them a Bic is not going to be in that article.

November 13, 2007 | Filed Under check it out, toddler | 5 Comments

Today I rue the candy corn binge of yesterday

Oh, did I ever overindulge. My abdomen bulges and shakes, crammed with 40 grams of carnauba wax and corn syrup. Ow. And we didn’t even get to the trick-or-treating yet!

In the meantime, I pulled a Halloween costume out of thin air.

He wanted to be a Worker Guy, one of those guys in the fluorescent vests who stand by the side of the road and eat lunch (or fix culverts, or whatever it is they do). I obliged best I could. I can see how flawed it is, but when I presented the costume to him, I wish you could have seen his eyes light up. And I wish you could have heard him ask me to make a perry-chicker, or a concrete mixer, because you would have heard in his voice the absolute confidence that his mother was capable of anything.

October 31, 2007 | Filed Under create, motherhood, toddler | 6 Comments

The barber stole my baby

Owen had his first “real” haircut this week, at Phil’s, the same place Iain has been going for years.

Look at that. I sent in a toddler and got back a pre-schooler.

October 14, 2007 | Filed Under toddler | 4 Comments

Your sleep training begins, young Jedi

So. Now that Mac is 4 months old, we are starting our version of sleep training. It entails starting him on a bedtime routine and getting him used to sleeping by himself in his crib. We did the same thing with Owen and it ended up working out pretty well, so we’re going to try it with Mac.

We give the boys a bath around 6:30. Then we dry them and dress them and we gather as a family on my and Iain’s bed. I nurse Mac as Owen and Iain take turns reading (or “reading”) three story books. Tonight, Mac fell asleep on the breast, which kind of made things easier.

I swaddle Mac while Iain tucks Owen into bed; then they sing a few improv’d songs (“Gray Guy and Bad Guy,” “Zoo Zoo Zoo,” et cetera) and have a last hug and kiss. I lay Mac in his crib and we leave.

Five minutes later Mac wakes up and I spend the next hour or two rocking him and laying him back in his crib and picking him up and nursing him and laying him back down in his crib and picking him up and rocking him again and laying him back in his crib. By 9 p.m. his wailing has turned to half-hearted fussing and blithering and I let him lie. After a few more minutes, he’s quiet and presumably asleep. Then I pop open a beer and wait for The Office to come on.

As with most parents of very young people, our day revolves around sleep. Just as a pregnant woman can drop and give you 20 physical complaints in 10 seconds, parents of totlets can give you a minute-by-minute account of the sleep they got last night. It’s the first thing out of our mouths when you say hello. But think about it: A good night’s sleep — for the kids OR us — can make or break the day. It’s the difference between sweet angels or bionic devils, between Regular MB and Commercial-Strength Bitch MB.

So the sleep, we like to have a lot of it. I don’t get a lot of it when there are kids in my bed, so teaching Mac to sleep on his own is important. But teaching him that Mom and Dad are only a few steps away, and that we respond to him when he needs us, is important to me too.

Now, if only someone could teach the people on our street not to honk after 10 p.m. or before 8 a.m. Doorbell, man. Doorbell. Learn to love it.

October 6, 2007 | Filed Under baby, toddler | 6 Comments