The end is nigh

Well! Iain came with me to see the doctor today. Lost another pound (how?!). No progress otherwise. Non-stress test went surprisingly smoothly; Nurse Knowledgable, this time, instead of Nurse Nincompoop. And having Iain for company was awesome. Had an ultrasound, which showed the water levels are fine.

So. Flipper’s all right. Stubborn as a mule, but doing OK.

Conferred with the doctor and have agreed to give Flipper a wee bit of a nudge tomorrow. It’s cheating and I said I wasn’t going to induce but you know what? Induction scheduled for 6:30 a.m. He’s had 9 days. As Xiobhan said, he ain’t payin’ rent. Heh.

Hope to have a new babe in arms by the end of the day. My doctor estimates this will go quickly, which is good.

You know what else is good? New washing machine. Ours crapped out today while I was trying to clean Bruno, the doll Owen threw in the nasty germy outdoor garbage can yesterday. That’s some bad timing. But fortunately Iain is a go-get’em guy. He took the whole damn thing apart. The motor was shot and blah blah other mechanical stuff. So we ran out to the Sears outlet and were able to resume laundrical activities within an hour and a half. Not the way I like to spend $500 but hell if I’m taking all that new-baby dirty laundry to the Suds-O-Mat. And am kind of working on a deadline here.

Also good: New pet fish. They need names. One died already. But they’re our first pets and I love them.

So to recap: New fish and washing machine today, new baby tomorrow. Wish me luck.

June 7, 2007 | Filed Under daily grind, family unit, pregnancy | 21 Comments

You’re sick of hearing about it, but not as sick as I am of being it

My entire world has narrowed to the confinement of the couch. I have several pillows, my laptop, the remote, a novel, and my crochet work-in-progress. I am too sore and tired to do much of anything else.

My stretchmarks have breached my bellybutton and are conquering the area beneath my ribcage. I actually have a few small spots that are bright red — the skin stretched so taut, so quickly, that there will be a scar.

I got an e-mail today from babycenter.com, the website with weekly progress e-mails. This one’s subject line: “Your one-week-old.” I am flipping the bird at it.

I have very little space in my brain for anything other than the choo-choo train of “I’m still pregnant. How am I still pregnant? I’m still pregnant.” I’m only a week overdue, but am looking forward to my O.B. appointment tomorrow. Surely the doc will schedule an induction. Surely Flipper must be ready by now. I get the feeling he’s not coming out without a fight, anyway — after all that “false labor” hoo-ha from yesterday I could count today’s contractions on one hand.

In other news … surely there is other news? Things happening, both inside my house and outside in the world , to talk about? Yes.

Owen continues to call me sweetpea, which just kills. At Target over the weekend, as I was carrying him on my hip (for three minutes at a time) he took my face in both hands and said sweetly, “You done your Target shopping, sweetpea?” He knows how to push my comedy buttons.

Yesterday he woke up at 6:15 a.m., rubbing his eyes and practically sleepwalking, saying, “Dump the trash, Mom. Time to dump da trash.” And then proceeded to empty each of the household wastebaskets into the kitchen garbage can.

Last night he hunkered down in front of my belly button and yelled sternly, “COME OUT, BABY!” I gave my belly a poke and said, Flipper, you listen to your older brother.

The sentiment is getting old, I know, but I just gotta say, it’s a good thing I’ve got him to take my mind off the torture.

As far as the world at large: I don’t have much. I’ve been watching “So You Think You Can Impersonate A Celebrity” or whatever the fuck that show is called. I’ve also been watching All My Children, General Hospital, some show called Haley’s Hints, and Oprah. Television pretty much sucks but it sucks a hell of a lot more if you watch it in the daytime and don’t have cable.

I’ve also been flipping through a few magazines: Adorn and Blueprint. I know there’s a copy each of Wired and Discover laying around here somewhere, too, but I’ll be damned if I can see them from the sofa. Therefore, for my purposes, they don’t exist.

I’m naturally a very lazy person, but Friday will mark the end of the second full (wasted) week off work. Pre-maternity leave, is what this is turning out to be. I’m not precisely bored — I will always have projects to dream up and possibly work on — but I am definitely reminded that it’s best if unemployment and I remain distant acquaintances. I am a better person if I am required to go somewhere and do something slightly productive on a semi-regular basis.

Well then. Was that as boring to read as it is to live through? For your sake, I hope not. I’m also hoping that Flipper is still doing well in utero, but especially hoping that he’s amenable to vacating the premises sooner rather than later. Each day he chooses “later” feels like it’s three weeks long.

June 6, 2007 | Filed Under pregnancy, toddler | 13 Comments

I don’t know how much more of this i can stand

Oh come on now.

The false labor, it’s killing me. Oh it hurts. And how for the love of Christ has it not regulated into anything yet? Every twenty minutes this morning until I fell asleep during Martha and then, nothing for hours. And then a couple irregular ones. And then nothing. And then four in the last hour.

And it’s not just the suspense that hurts but the contractions themselves. Hoo. And Owen sees me grimacing and says, “You not mad, Mama. I give you a hug. I give you a kiss. You mad, Mama? Mama? Mama, you mad?” and I love him to death but there are a few rare instances in a woman’s life where the pitch of a toddler’s voice is worse than a jackhammer to the skull.

So. For the most part I am doing fine, enjoying the last few days here, making myself a little nest on the couch. But every once in a while … well. I certainly am looking forward to that epidural. And the baby, of course. But right now? The epidural.

June 5, 2007 | Filed Under pregnancy | 10 Comments

Still pregnant, after all these years.

40 weeks, 6 days.

Trooping ever onward, like a good little soldier. Renewed faith that I am doing the right thing by letting Flipper stew a touch longer. I moped around yesterday morning (when I wasn’t sleeping) miserable and sad that something was wrong with him and it would be my fault for not dragging him out forcefully when the doc gave me an opportunity. But after more sleep and a shower and a glass of Dr Pepper and a swing through the internet, I realized that everything was fine and I just had to suck it up, the being pregnant.

Besides, twist my arm, you know? More days to put my feet up and eat bananas and watch Martha Stewart. Life could be worse.

Whilst googling ‘inducing pregnancy’ I also came across a little web page that mentioned “prodromal labor.” Yay, a medical term to look up! Yay, validation for the way I am feeling! Basically it means “false labor,” but not that wussy false labor I mock other people for, people who have not been having a BITCH of a time with the braxton hicks since month four. This prodromal stuff, this is the good stuff. This is the stuff that takes your breath away and yet never fucking organizes into productive labor. This is what has had me crazy over the last week or two, getting ready to time contractions only to watch the pattern peter out after an hour.

So. As I am the type of person to find great relief in reading reassuring words from “experts”, seeing that I am not crazy and that things will, eventually, move along in their own sweet time cheered me up considerably.

I think we’ll have this guy by the end of this weekend. Although, considering that our backup and our backup-backup Owen care are both home sick today, and they are the only other people authorized to retrieve him from day care — watch, it’ll happen today. Murphy’s law and all that. (Despite the fact Murphy’s Law didn’t work last week).

Hrrrm. Must develop backup-to-the-third-power plan. Shall get on that after I finish this banana and take a nap.

June 4, 2007 | Filed Under pregnancy | 8 Comments

How ‘bout dem O’s?

Still here!

My parents left this morning. Doc called an hour ago to offer me an induction tomorrow; something about somebody going somewhere and there being a spot open. He talks very softly so I couldn’t really follow all of it.

But I told him I’d pass and give Flipper a little more time to get going on his own. Doc didn’t seem very pleased with me but I had to do what feels right. This isn’t to say that I am not open to an induction later this week, especially if any post-term testing indicates a problem. But I just don’t feel like I’ve given Flipper enough of a chance to get off the couch and start heading for the exit.

I’ve been wracking my brain for something, ANYthing, other than this dadgum pregnancy to write about today, but I have nothing. Couldn’t even make small talk about the Orioles if you had a gun to my head.

June 2, 2007 | Filed Under pregnancy | 14 Comments

Forty weeks, two days, due yesterday

I’m trying to smile, honest I am.

Made a little progress over the week; lost half a pound but dilated to just about a two. I let Owen play hooky from school the last two days to hang with me and my parents. We’ve been having a fairly good time just chillin’ around the house.

I don’t reckon Flipper is coming anytime soon, but I’m trying very hard to not to be a crank about it. Instead I’m going to enjoy all this extra ice-cream eating time and Owen-cuddling time. And the many, many dishcloths I’ve been crocheting.

May 31, 2007 | Filed Under pix, pregnancy | 4 Comments

40 weeks

Still nada. I am pointing and laughing at the girl I was two weeks ago, who thought she’d have a newborn by this time.

Ha. Oh, ha ha ha.

It’s like 157 degrees outside and I am as big as a house and resigned to the fact that this child just doesn’t want to come out. He’s not even going to mess with me watching the season finale of HOUSE tonight. I thought for SURE that a child of mine would go all Murphy’s Law on me and have me like in transition or something right when Hugh Laurie is solving the case.

But no. He’s so stubborn that he’s going to let me see the show. I think it’s because he knows that I’d much rather have a baby than even watch House. Damn smart kid.

Anyway. My parents are in from out of town and seem to be doing pretty well. My dad let me drive the Prius, even. Just a couple yards, but still. Owen is LOVING having his Nana and Grandpa around to spoil him and I am enjoying a little spoiling myself.

Might as well enjoy something if I have to be this pregnant, eh? (I mean I could always enjoy the bitching I seem to do incessantly but then who would benefit?)

May 29, 2007 | Filed Under pregnancy | 12 Comments

Minutes from Flipperers Local 530 meeting re: negotiations

39w3d

Contract negotiations stalled. Both parties agreed to lay back and chillax for the time being, coming back to the table next Thursday unless some sort of strike is called beforehand.

In other words: No change! That day of fairly regular (albeit widely-spaced) Braxton Hicks contractions was just a tease. The doctor says the baby is “mid-position” (haven’t googled that yet) and not coming before Memorial Day.

Yesterday morning, when I got this news, I was pissed. I was fully expecting to head into labor by Saturday. I directed all of my anger at the doc, who had the gall to note in my chart “STILL NO NAME”, as if my inability to name my child before meeting him needed to go on my permanent record.

But my Dad met with a cardiologist yesterday afternoon and is having his ticker looked at today and I’d really like him to be all the way better and recovered before I toss another grandchild at him.

And my poor mom — her mother, her husband, and her daughter all in and out of the hospital in the last month. I’d like to give her a wee bit of a respite before the baby’s born as well.

So listen, Flipper. I know I said I wanted to get a move on but you know what? It can wait. Today is my last day of work before my maternity leave begins and I won’t mind enjoying a couple days with my feet up before you arrive for the party.

May 25, 2007 | Filed Under family unit, pregnancy | 2 Comments

Wishes do come true

When you look like this

and you feel like this

it’s awful nice to come home to this:

May 22, 2007 | Filed Under love life, pregnancy, sappy crap | 3 Comments

Address change: I’ve moved to Slothtown

39 weeks.

So tired. All the time. So irritable. No energy to do anything but bitch that there’s nothing good on TV. I need a celebrity trash magazine and a few pints of ice cream. I need to put my feet up and call in sick to work. I need to cuddle up with my son and try to forget about my impending doom.

Can’t control the rage and the tears today.

One of these days I’ll be going into labor. Will post something from the mobile. Watch the Flickr photos or the Twitter updates in the sidebar for news.

Unless, of course, God hates me and has me deliver this kid two weeks late. Or God hates me and has me deliver this kid in the fucking truck on the way to the hospital. Or has me deliver this kid with an emergency section or with who knows what kind of pain and trauma and terror.

So. Some ice cream and a nap sure would be nice. Wish I was a cat and could just hide out under the porch to give birth.

May 22, 2007 | Filed Under neuroses, pregnancy | 2 Comments