Plus, his smiles make the world sing

Reprinted from another, private online forum in which I was ruminating on my youngest:

breakthrough Duh moment over the weekend. We were at the grocery store, shopping, waiting in line. Iain had taken Owen to the truck to pull up and wait for Mac and I, who were waiting to pay for the groceries. Checker was all up in Mac’s face. But he was all up in hers, too — grabbing at her plastic bags, talking at her, trying to type on the keypad, trying to take things from her — no stranger danger at all, whereas his brother would have been studiously avoiding eye contact and turning red. I was reminded of an instance a week or two ago, when I was vacuuming. Mac came right up and started yelling at the vacuum. It was messing his shit up and so he got up at the vac to tell it so. Suddenly, I realized — the character traits that I had been seeing as ornery, exhausting, difficult, just plain loud, could be spun in a different way. He stands up for himself, he is assertive. Here is a kid, unlike Owen, who takes no guff from anyone — not his mama, not the vacuum, and not the checker at the grocery store. He’s exactly the way I wish I was.

For all the times I’ve sighed and called him difficult, I’m posting this, to remember that “difficult” is nothing but a transitory experience, five minutes’ confrontation between distinct personalities and objectives, and that perspective is everything.

And, just for a change of pace, Cormac was as golden, warm and fuzzy as a Retriever puppy today. He played with his brother, rode sidesaddle on my hip this afternoon, silently taking in our guests, and obligingly ate most of his dinner.

There is also this:

It’s also a good reminder to me not to judge a kid solely on his louder qualities, but on his good ones, too — he is a total dream to take places, never throws a fuss in public but stares wide-eyed at everything going on. He throws himself into me for hugs and kisses, still likes to chomp on my chin, and I even saw him today trying to wear Owen’s pirate hat [which was so cute I wanted to die]. In fact, today was such a good day that I’m trying to remember what the heck I’ve been complaining about before.

I like to joke about my little Gemini baby running hot or cold and never in between, and he does — that’s what I love about him so fiercely. He, at ten months old, has strength of character to a degree I can only dream of attaining. I’m proud he’s mine.

April 9, 2008 | Filed Under baby, motherhood

Comments

7 Responses to “Plus, his smiles make the world sing”

jessica on April 9th, 2008 10:07 pm

aww. they are both very lucky boys. you are such a great mama.
supa on April 9th, 2008 10:08 pm

Aw jess. Thank you.
Jen on April 9th, 2008 10:30 pm

These are good things to realize and remember. Thanks for taking the time to type it all up.
toyfoto on April 10th, 2008 9:31 am

Speechless. Me? Wow.
Christina on April 11th, 2008 6:25 am

Those eyes could melt anyone’s heart!!! Such a cutie.
Ty on April 12th, 2008 8:54 am

Apparently, I was a really good baby, BUT I was independent, and stubborn, too. My mother decided to encourage those traits, because she figured the squeaky, tough wheel becomes successful! It all depends on how you look at it.

And by the way, as I scrolled down and saw the picture, I thought it was you for a sec…SOMEbody still looks like mommy!
supa on April 13th, 2008 8:27 pm

Thanks, you guys.

I think your mama had the right idea, Ty!