Top five reasons I wish I were religious

Church. Think about it. Some dude in funny clothes waxing philosophic while incense tickles your nose and someone passes you a bowl. Sounds like college, and I enjoyed college.
Bingo. Cormac needs a new pair of shoes.
Private school. Owen needs some of that nun stuff to counterbalance the nun-chucks.
Heaven. Where the deer and the antelope play, and where I can eat a bowl of Raisin Bran without crying an hour later.
Hell. I need to know that some people will be taken care of after I’m gone.

January 3, 2008 | Filed Under blather

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Comments

13 Responses to “Top five reasons I wish I were religious”

angela on January 3rd, 2008 9:28 pm

Churches scare the crap out of me.
kelly on January 3rd, 2008 9:37 pm

i am glad you are thinking of me when i will be in hell.
Dani on January 4th, 2008 12:44 am

You don’t have to go to the church to go to the bingo … and whether there’s a hell or not, I firmly belive in karma, and trust me, she’s a bitch.
Bad Hippie on January 4th, 2008 8:07 am

Ah, the nuns. Speaking from 7 years of Catholic School experience, the nuns are WAYYYYYYY scarier than any ninja ever could be. Especially when they get out their rulers and go all old-school on your knuckles.

At least it was that way in the 80s. I have no idea if they have to follow all the “don’t touch the students!” rules in play in the public school system.
Tina C on January 4th, 2008 11:06 am

i just bought some shoes for owen at payless for $6.00. i don’t know if they have infant shoes though…. i’ve seen instructions for sewing them on that mamasew blog…
Elizabeth on January 4th, 2008 3:38 pm

I love my religion, though we haven’t made it to church in almost 2 months. I’m a little sick of trying to find a church that’s just “right”. But I know it’s out there. Now, trying to get my husband to go along is another story. He’s into “justification” big-time.

Sadly, we can’t afford the nuns. But the turtles in our house have nun-chucks and we have, so far, avoided nun-chucking mom.
Elizabeth on January 4th, 2008 3:40 pm

(and by church, I mean a physical church within our religion. our religion I’m happy with)
christina on January 4th, 2008 3:46 pm

amazing. i agree with the first second and fifth. boo for you not being able to eat raisin bran! i can basically only eat bread and cheese or i get acid that hangs out between my throat and chest. its really fun…?
Kate on January 4th, 2008 6:32 pm

Those are good reasons. I was raised Catholic and I kind of want to get back to it after becoming extremely lapsed (I think this was the first year I didn’t even go on Christmas and Easter), buuut…I don’t think I can. My parents put a lot of effort into raising their kids in the Catholic faith, but they also raised us to, you know, think and question stuff and value women and all sorts of other things, so it ultimately ended up being rather counterproductive on their part.

Also the rather hippy-ish/”peace be with you” folk Mass/Marriage Encounter stuff I grew up on seems to have fallen entirely by the wayside, sadly. The last time I was at my home church the priest started out the Mass by asking people to spit out their gum. On Christmas. He didn’t even say Merry Christmas or anything first. The priest I grew up with was too busy making balloon animals and playing guitar to worry about gum.
Lisa the domestic diva on January 4th, 2008 7:53 pm

oh religion does not get in the way of BINGO…

no way…LOL

With friendship,
Lisa
Keely on January 4th, 2008 8:04 pm

BAH HA HA! You make me laugh, thanks!
supa on January 4th, 2008 11:01 pm

So, someone explain to me this secular bingo?
Rob Carlson on January 5th, 2008 10:49 am

My community association has a monthly bingo with food in Parkville.