Camera obscura

Last night I dreamt of a camera that was smaller than a deck of cards, yet turned out Polaroid photographs — rectangular ones, not square ones.

This morning I woke up saddened by the fact that it doesn’t exist.

***

I am officially nine months pregnant. 36 weeks. Four yet to go.

I am huge and hugely uncomfortable. I have gained more than twenty pounds, all of it between my ribcage and my pelvis, forcing me to stand swaybacked and wide-legged, like a giraffe bending to drink.

I have a hard time paying attention to other people and find myself getting angry at strangers. My back aches, my legs ache, and I have more new stretchmarks than there are stars in the heavens.

We still don’t have a name.

I found out I will not be getting any compensation at all for my maternity leave this go-round, which will make for a rather dry and Ramen-filled summer. Corporate America views childbirth as a vacation, I’m assuming.

Sleeping at night is a feat; it involves earplugs, three to five pillows, and occasionally a microsuede recliner. I half-expect applause when I manage to accomplish it.

I still have to install Owen’s old infant car seat, but am starting to view assembling the cradle as a needless pain in the ass.

I am staring at the next four swollen, bloated weeks as I did the cockroach I found in my office: with dread followed by resignation.

May 3, 2007 | Filed Under daily grind, neuroses, pregnancy

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Comments

15 Responses to “Camera obscura”

Jen on May 3rd, 2007 8:42 am

Mucho sympathy for the aches and pains….you are almost there!!
toyfoto on May 3rd, 2007 9:52 am

As someone who will benefit from the paltry maternity leave the U.S. has managed to skin-flintily shell out for mothers, I can totally see how NOT having the 1/2 time pay for eight weeks (I’ll be taking 15 … two vacation weeks at the end and four weeks completely unpaid, where I will have to kick in the company share for our health insurance) would suck even more.

“Family Values” my ass.

And yeah, corporate American needs to learn that once you have kids your true “vacation” days are over.
Katrine on May 3rd, 2007 10:51 am

You poor thing! I so understand how you feel. I was in your position 4 months ago. But it does get better when your little one is here! Good luck!
HVM on May 3rd, 2007 11:27 am

Put me at the top of these lists:

-Dinner Bringers Once Flipper Comes Out

-Lactation Ladies Who Never Sleep

-Dear God, Take My Firstborn To The Playground For An Hour

Then, use them. You know where to find me.
Tina C. on May 3rd, 2007 12:34 pm

try floating around in a pool for a few hours of relief.
Rachael on May 3rd, 2007 12:35 pm

I think that there’s something called the Family/Medical Leave Act that makes docking your pay during maternity leave illegal. Check that out because it just doesn’t sound right not to pay you at all.
supa on May 3rd, 2007 12:54 pm

FMLA just states that, if you meet certain criteria, they can’t fire you for having a baby. They have to provide you a job when you come back. They don’t have to pay you anything or protect your job for longer than 12 weeks or even give you your old job back. And if the company is smaller than 50 people, or if you are part-time or a new employee, they don’t have to do dick.

America: Breed At Your Own Risk.
supa on May 3rd, 2007 12:55 pm

(what? me? bitter? no.)
LetterB on May 3rd, 2007 1:20 pm

Oh, don’t get me started. Bitter doesn’t even start to cover it. Ach, sorry about the end-of-the-road “discomfort.” At least you get to have the occasional beer. What? Me? Jealous? Yes. *Sob!*
Jennifer on May 3rd, 2007 1:25 pm

Hang in there! You are almost done. I’m 38 weeks tomorrow and recovering from kidney stone surgery. So, I feel for you. I really do.
Chair on May 3rd, 2007 4:07 pm

OMG, there’s another reason to just get your perky butt to Canada. You are entitled to your current job when you get back and you get unemployment insurance from the federal government for the duration of your 12 month leave (aroung 60%). Some (most) corporations top you up a bit more for some of that (the University topped me up to 80% for 2 months).

Sorry to hear it’s getting uncomfortable, I never really got that with Theya -she was wee enough I guess and 11 days early.
Elizabeth on May 4th, 2007 12:13 am

Hang in there!
I have hardly begun this one and I’ve been floating around blissfully unaware and uncaring about everything that happens, you know, at “the end”. Thanks for reminding me And you’re right, that FMLA crap doesn’t apply if you’ve worked less than a year and they only have to give you your job or “a similar position” back after that 12 weeks of NO PAY… and my last employer made me use my vacation and sick time while I was on leave (I was allowed to keep up to a week, gee thanks).
jg on May 4th, 2007 5:22 am

they aren’t going to give you any compensation? what? are you serious? dammit.

quit. sue them. tell them to kiss your ass. how dare they do this. isn’t this against the law?

this is wrong.
supa on May 4th, 2007 7:05 am

See, but it ISN’T against the law. They are perfectly within their rights. And what do I do for money if I quit? Ask the Mortgage Fairy to drop by?

Compare this with Canada: 12 MONTHS of job-protected leave WITH PAY. Leave can be split between you and your partner. Imagine that — the stress of caring for a new baby AND returning to work after six weeks just so you can make the mortgage — not a problem. Also, subsidized day care.

Somebody remind me why i don’t live in Maple Leaf Country already.
supa on May 4th, 2007 11:41 am

to clarify: my beef is with corporate america’s prevailing attitudes, not that of any one company in particular.