Toddlerese: Does Not Compute

This morning, while gathered around the coffee table. Owen has a plastic bowl filled with dry Golden Grahams in front of him.
Owen: Milk.
Me: You want some milk in your cereal?
Owen: Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk.
Me: In your bowl, or in cup to drink?
Owen: In a bowl. In a cup.
Me: Right. Which one, in a bowl *pointing* or in a cup, for you to drink?
Owen: MILK!! NO CUP. NO BOWL.
Me: OWEN. I will get you milk. That’s fine. But do you want it for your cereal or do you want it in a cup?
Owen: NO MILK! NO Mih-hih-hih-hihhhhh (commences wailing)
Me: DUDE. Fine. No milk. Whatever.
Owen: (high pitched screeching sound; full spread-eagled floor-pounding tantrum)
Me: (!@#%)

Standing near front door, while waiting for me to finish attempting to tie my shoes:
Owen: Milo [name of boy at school].
Me: Milo?
Owen: Milo. Milo. Milo. Milo milomilomilo.
Me: Milo? Milo what?
Owen: MILO.
Me: Milo?
Owen: Yes.
Me: Milo? Milo? Milo? MILO MILO MILO MILO—
Owen: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Me:(bewildered) … Okay then.

While playing on the sofa.
Owen: (taking my face in his hands) MAMA. YOOK at me.
Me: I’m looking, I’m looking!
Owen: I yuv you.
Me: (melted)

I love you too, you adorable little weirdo.

April 18, 2007 | Filed Under motherhood, toddler

Comments

9 Responses to “Toddlerese: Does Not Compute”

Ty on April 18th, 2007 12:11 pm

Soo sweet!
otter on April 18th, 2007 12:55 pm

Heeee! That made my day…

Do you think toddlers train us to deal with really drunk people? (Note to self: you should have have a kid waaaaaaayyyy earlier.)
otter on April 18th, 2007 3:13 pm

er…have had…
Elizabeth on April 18th, 2007 4:54 pm

aww! what a sweet little goofy guy!
jg on April 19th, 2007 8:26 am

awwww!
Susanna on April 19th, 2007 12:57 pm

We have this same conversation. Every day. Every single day. Except my !@#% is much longer, and shows up more frequently. Good things for those “I Love Yous” or life would be one long, frustrated babble battle.
Beth on April 22nd, 2007 11:24 pm

This is hilarious. We have these same conversations almost every hour of the day. It’s driving me insane. I think your little guy and my little guy would probably understand one another…
your neighborhood librarian on April 30th, 2007 11:17 am

“In the bowl!”
(pour)
“NOT in the BO-OWL! I changed up my mind! Take it out take it out!”
(gets toast for breakfast)

PS how many Milos ARE there in this friggin town? I have one and I know of at least 4 more - I’m guessing Owen’s pal is Rachael’s Milo.
supa on April 30th, 2007 11:27 am

[quote comment=”20515”]”Take it out take it out!”
[/quote]

You are KILLING ME. Owen is all over that, too. That and “Back together! BACK TOGETHER!” when something has been cut or otherwise broken from its original, intact state (sliced bananas, say). Oy vey.

Re: Milo: Actually, the above instance was me giving his classmate a nom de blog. I don’t know any Milo’s in real life (do I?) but I love the name. So. Nice job on naming your kid!