Monthly Archives: November 2006

Please bless these coneys which we are about to receive

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Owen and I have been talking a lot about Thanksgiving the last couple weeks, discussing who we were going to see and what we were going to eat. Sunday morning we were curled up in a blanket on the floor in the back room, naming food items we would like for Thanksgiving dinner. This is the menu Owen concocted:

  • Milk
  • Orange juice
  • Jibby (grape) juice
  • Apple juice
  • beans
  • waffles
  • and bunnies

We don’t normally* eat small game like that, but I suppose if it’s good enough for hobbits it’s good enough for my Owen.

*Ever.

MB cricketface

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I was jolted out of a sound sleep last night by the unmistakeable *poing* of spiky cricket feet rebounding off my face.

My FACE. Cricket on my face! In my house, first of all, ew, and second of all, in my bedroom where I sleep, okay, totally wrong, that should not be allowed to happen, and thirdly, THIRDLY, close enough to my bed to hit my ever-loving face.

I am scarred — figuratively — for life. I may have to sleep on the couch, wrapped in tinfoil, with a straw poking out for air.

And this also means that I have to do a super commando hunt to figure out how the heck he got in. How?

I am creepily reminded of when I was interning in Richmond, Va., and reading a book on my futon after work, and felt my hair move of its own volition. Turns out it was a cockroach, a cockroach on my pillow where I lay my head to sleep.

Did I ever tell you how much I hate bugs? They don’t have bugs like this in Ohio. Deer, maybe. Some ants. Zebra mussels if you go in the lake. But not these motherfucking Southern bugs. I can’t handle it.

p.s. Whoever heard of bugs in November?

p.p.s. Cricket in the face: Better or worse than cricket in your sleeping bag?

Oh, like you haven’t.

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Eaten frosting right from the jar, I mean. Man, at least I used a spoon, OK? Get off my back.

Baseboards, bitches: Holy five-hour cleaning spree, Batman. If you cared to peer behind my couch or under the entertainment center you would witness this: Zero dustbunnies and a pleasing aroma of lemons.

Go Bucks! Owen’s Auntie Jen taught him to say that this morning. It was drop-dead cute. Nice how his team won in the end, too! Sorry, Michigan fans. The Scarlet and Grey triumph again.

Speaking of drop-dead cute: Owen likes to watch the movie Shrek, right? Today I taught him to call Shrek a stinky dude, since he bathes in muds and toots in the pond and brushes his teeth with bugs. So when Owen busted out the Stinky Dude while referencing his father: Well, priceless.

Also priceless: YouTube. The amount of kids stuff on there is unbelievable, and thank goodness, too, because Finding Nemo was starting to work my nerves.

***

Well, we obviously have a lot more LOTR to watch this evening, so I better get to it.

My summer house will be in Rivendell

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Owen conked out super early tonight, so Iain and I are having fettucine alfredo in front of Lord of the Rings.

It’s a seasonal thing, with us. The mercury drops and the Elves come out of the DVD cupboard.

It’s been a very long week at work, so that’s pretty much all I’ve got for you tonight, friends. Drink one for me.

The things I did for love

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Memes: the crutch of NaBloPoMoers everywhere. This one courtesy of LetterB — she’s aces.

Things I Did For Love

  1. played chicken on a dark suburban street
  2. spelled out my affection on looseleaf paper, then braved dozens of jeering sophomores to deliver it
  3. arrived at prom in a 15-year-old VW Rabbit and wearing a lime-green dress
  4. smoked a little too much ganja
  5. skipped an entire semester of Journalism 102
  6. switched to Lucky Strikes and Southern Comfort
  7. nepotism
  8. Wyoming with a medical condition
  9. changed my name
  10. moved 400 miles and forfeited a honeymoon
  11. heartburn, leg cramps, a popped hip, bloating, night sweats, and extreme fatigue
  12. stitches. Babymaker stitches.
  13. That suppository thing
  14. Or that time I scooped all the poop out of the bathwater
  15. kept going, every day.

And now for something …

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Oh, you know the rest.

I was just looking at my posts and thinking Ugh. Talk about quotidian. Could I be any more boring? The answer: no.

So. Instead of telling you what I did today, I am going to tell you something else.

Like how, when I was in sixth grade, I got an A+ on every spelling test for the whole year and as punishment my teacher made me administer the final spelling test to the rest of the class. And then, when I was 21 and working at the local country club, she didn’t recognize me and I seriously considered tampering with her chicken marsala.

I love a rainy day

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Boo! Almost forgot to post today, but Iain is making me. Figured “American Dad” is a perfect time to do something other than watch television.

Today was very productive. We made it down to the stupid D.C. Armory in the pouring rain and I only went the wrong way once down a one-way street. (Yay me!) But the National Geographic sale was kind of fun. I got Owen the cutest pair of dinosaur galoshes. They make him walk like he’s got, um, some sort of disease, but I figure if I tuck his pants in next time his ankles won’t rebel against the cold rubber.

I also marked a lot of things off the freelance to-do list, which had been hanging over my head awhile. Now I’m sitting down with a lapful of wool to make 11 more Christmas ornaments — they’re due next weekend!

Good thing I’ve got my energy back.

OK, totally unrelated: Has anyone been watching Season 3 of LOST? Because I had the most terrifying dream last night, in which I was part of a small contingent of people who were being hunted by The Others, and there was all sorts of frightening violence, and now I need to see Season 3 to like, mentally erase it. Or something. Anyway. Was it good? Because I quit watching after S2 because the plot started getting on my nerves.

Wait. Is S3 still on TV? Because that would make my plan to rent it kind of premature.

End of stupid tangent. Time for wool.

Bonus Saturday NaBloPoMo Post!

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Reasons this was a good weekend:

  • I won $5.80 at our Poker Night last night
  • I beat Iain, who actually LOST $2.80, for the first time in the history of Poker Night
  • We got Owen and Cassie together again this afternoon at her 2nd birthday party and nobody prevented me from having a second piece of cake
  • I did a little Christmas shopping at Barnes and Noble this morning with Owen and we got to hear some Cardinal Sheehan kids singing. Even better was Owen singing and clapping along.
  • I bought my first pair of yoga pants (they’re fleece!) and I only had to take them off long enough to attend Cassie’s party
  • The cashier at Trader Joe’s only asked one personal question about my purchase!
  • I think we’re going to the National Geographic Warehouse Sale tomorrow. Maybe. If the stars align correctly.