I am post-operative!

*blearf* And a little woozy!

I had a little bump excised from the top of my head on Friday, what the kids are calling a little “surgical excision,” you know, slice ‘em and dice ‘em, shoot ‘em up and toss ‘em out.

Yes, head surgery. Makes for a lovely weekend of Tylenol and sleep and pretty much nothing else. Just a few things stand out from my trip to the ol’ dermatologist:

1. That some crazy old broad in the hospital parking lot kept calling me “guy” and asking me to come over and, uh, lift her car up, or remove the engine, or something ridiculous. I mean, just because I have a short-ish haircut (by the way, i got my haircut — found a new hairstylist and she’s Russian and I am never ever letting go) … just because I have short hair and tend to dress like an uninspired little gay man does NOT mean I am a guy. And no, hon, I can’t fix your car. I’m late for my surgical excision.

2. Actually, I was an hour and a half early. ME. Early. I even tried to use that time to make an appointment with another doctor I need to see soon but got connected to the gift shop instead and just kind of gave up.

3. My doctor likes my haircut. And my scalp wound didn’t bleed at all! I’m the best surgical patient evar.

4. The surgery was on a 2.5mm spot right on the top of my head, the “midline”, the Midline of midlines, where the North Pole would be if my head were a globe and not tilted on any sort of strange axis. And when the doc was all done, his assistant put a tiny, circular bandage on top of the stitches. And I left the hospital, driving myself home which I totally should not have done, wearing what looked like the world’s tiniest, jauntiest, fleshiest-colored hat.

It’s Sunday now and I’m feeling much better, except in some ways I’m also feeling much worse, but that’s a topic for another day. Have a good week or two, until I see you again.

October 15, 2006 | Filed Under daily grind

Comments

13 Responses to “I am post-operative!”

Dani on October 15th, 2006 5:30 pm

Glad you’re feeling better from having your North Pole excised! And I hope you feel better in other ways soon!
Kate on October 15th, 2006 8:17 pm

Darrow resident, 1999-2001…

did you have a mole removed? I am an unfortunate expert on the topic. If so, you did the right thing by taking care of it!
victoria on October 16th, 2006 8:32 am

i feel like i am so behind. hair cut? surgery? geez louise. i’m glad you came through like a champ. and when do we see pics of the new hairdo?
Karen on October 16th, 2006 1:09 pm

I bet I totally have the same kind of bump. I have been procrastinating on getting it removed for years. But I am inspired by your story.
debbie on October 16th, 2006 1:30 pm

dude! glad the surgery went well. wow. now post pictures of your hair, dammit! oh, and if your new hairstylist’s name is katya, i’m going to freak out.
LL#2 on October 16th, 2006 4:42 pm

i’m glad it all went well and that it’s over and done with! and to have surgery on Friday the 13th? that’s just wrong!!!
candace on October 16th, 2006 5:33 pm

So glad you’re feeling well. And no, you shouldn’t have driven home, but you made it! So take that, medical adivce!
Joshua Xalpharis on October 16th, 2006 7:29 pm

Pretend you’re male the next time someone mistakes you for a male.

It would probably be amusing when they learn that not only were they mistaken, but you put forth the effort to humor them. The embarrassment would be great.
Elizabeth on October 16th, 2006 9:33 pm

What a nice thing, to sleep all weekend! You have such understanding men at your house
What a trip! I have a mole or something on my head too. I’m worried about my hair. I know my other will most likely cover it up, but still! I hope you haven’t taken to wearing hats.
Kudos on finding someone to cut your hair! I’d love to find a Russian woman to cut my hair, then I wouldn’t have to chat with her because I know not a word of Russian.
I also would like to see pictures of the new ‘do.

And? 2 weeks? That is sparse, dude.
Jenijen on October 17th, 2006 3:03 am

Yikes! Hope you are feeling better!
michaela on October 17th, 2006 11:55 am

eep! head surgery! glad you’re feeling better-ish.
Suebob on October 18th, 2006 11:34 pm

I’m glad your supa head has been exorcised of whatever was bothering it. I had 3 cysts cut off a couple years ago. On the 3rd one, they had forgotten to anesthetize it. Boy, was that a surprise for all of us! I made them do it before they started cutting again. Yikes.

The thing that freaked me most though was the tiny patches of stubble where they had shaved my head. I had to feel them over and over for the next month or so.
Neil on October 19th, 2006 10:04 am

Yes, hope you’re feeling better!