Blogher: Mommyblogging is a radical act

Live blogging! Woo!
This is primarily going to be a Q and A, according to our redhaired moderator, whomever that may — never mind, it’s Marrit, who covers tech, film and books for the Austin Chronicle ( or was it the Statesman?)
They are now announcing the winners of the Our Story story contest. Jennifer Sharpen is a runner up, I think he said.
Marritt is announcing the panelists: Mir, Sweetney (Tracey) and Finslippy (Alice).
Q: General thoughts on — Linda Hershman? Mir: The point of the feminist movement is to have choices. Marritt: There are different ways to be feminist, different definitions of radical, of causing and creating change in the system.
Q: Why do I not want to be identified as a mommyblogger, even though I probably am? (asker’s name eluded me) Alice: I’ve also struggled with the term; I think it’s inherently dismissive. “Just a mommyblogger.” It’s complicated. Tracey: I think we should discuss how we’re using the term. I’ve been called a mommyblogger and I’m not sure that I am one. What’s the necessary content? Alice: It’s a way to dismiss a blogger. Despite that, mommyblogs are just reproducing.
Marrit: I’d like to thank you for pointing out the craft. Are diapers and poop de facto unimportant? We get the impression that mothering and caregiving is not important.
This is going too fast, really, for me to type.
Q: Mindy Roberts, of “the mommyblog”: For all this disparagement, people are searching like crazy for this. I am going to have something to hand my children (picks up book): This is your young life. It’s been a great community.
Q: Should we come up with another label for ourselves? Alice: I don’t want to be like, we are especially under attack (because we’re mothers). The stakes are higher, the level of feeling is extraordinarily high. Mir: I don’t think it’s the label that’s causing the problem. We can call ourselves the prolific clowns of the blogging world, but — Tracey: The word mommyblogger is deployed in contexts where mom bloggers aren’t even involved. It’s a disparagement where you have nothing interesting to say. Definitely it’s sexism but — the word mommy is diminishing, a little bit. Alice: I’m really wondering: do people think it is diminishing, dismissing? Disparaging. Dis-something.
A: Author of the blog the motherblogger: I don’t find it diminshing. I’m proud to be part of the community.
Q: Surrender Dorothy: It’s easier for me to talk about my insecurities raising a child in this scary world online than it is to have conversations with coworkers and friends and family about it. Easier to work out how I’m going to work out how I’m going to parent through this channel. That is sort of radical because we don’t talk about these kinds of things at cocktail parties. Alice: It becomes sort of radical — hammers home the lesson that there’s no right way. Voice after voice saying here’s my perspective. Marrit: I think that’s extremely empowering and that doesn’t get expressed outside of [the internet]. This is legitimate media. It’s not secondary. And it frightens people. Tracey: It’s incredibly strengthening. There’s support there. That’s one of the huge reasons why i think it’s a powerful medium.
Q: Beth of Silicon Valley Moms Blog: [Silicon valley thinks mommybloggers are cool. Moms not so much. paraphrased.]
Q: Amy Gahran: Not a mom but have a niece who’s a single mom. There’s not a lot of single mom blogs — I mean young single mom blogs. A: Janene Armstrong, diary of a single mom: I am working on compiling a blogroll of other single mom blogs. Mir is also a single mom. We’re definitely out there.
Q: Nancy: not a mom but a teacher. From my research … corporations are against you. You stand between them and your kids. Parents [in movies] are portrayed as buffoons. Bottom line is you guys need to be together. I don’t care what you call youselves but in this culture parents are being put down intentionally. A: Marrit: A corporatist issue. When we are caring for our children or elderly or sick, we’re not making money for anyone. A: Mom101 Liz — That’s not true. Work in media and advertising. This is the most powerful marketing group there is. I take issue with the idea that corporations don’t like us. A: Marrit: I think they respect us more as consumers than workers.
Q: [couldn’t hear name] The reason many of us threw ourselves into blogging is for the community. How do we maintain that community? If there are lots of comments, how do we stay true to why we all got into this in the first place? How do you gusy stay in the fold and keep community. Alice: I didn’t come into this for the community. I was pleasantly surprised for the community. [Comments on or off.] It’s tough, especially when you’re addressing serious issues. Mir: We were talking about that — what’s your blogger philosophy? Do you mail everyone back? I get comments that I respond to, sometimes, if I’m not too busy. I hope people understand that because of the structure of the community not every comment is going to get an e-mail. Tracey: Is it the expectation that we’re supposed to be responding to each of the comments? Asker: As we grow in popularity, I’d hate to see us lose why we’re all here in the first place. Alice: New communities. I think it’s really exciting.
Q: Kristin: Mommy needs a cocktail: I’m happy to be a mom, I’m blessed to have a choice [to stay home]. I do take creative license with my writing — do you guys have the issue that people take you too seriously? What’s your percentage of what’s really happening and what makes a funny story? Alice: About her sick dog and her veterinarian. “No, I was being funny!” Tracey: Usually people new to an individual blog don’t get your sense of humor. Alice: People who read my blog all the time do it. CLumsy writing.
Q: Beth Adams: Crazy Us: Something I’ve heard a lot this weekend is, when we say I just put my site out there and I don’t care who reads it and how many comments I get, I think that’s total bullshit. Own it, because it’s really cool.
Q: Jenn Satterwhite: Mommy Needs Coffee: How do the three of y’all feel it’s changed in the past year? Alice: I feel sort of embarrassed now because, look at this, it’s just incredible. Didn’t you feel like last year we were in the minority? That’s why I stood up, and also to make Melissa cry. It’s increased so exponentially. Tracey: And I think we also have to thank Heather from Dooce for that, she has been a smart and smart-ass voice for all of us. SHe’s shown that women with kids have smart, funny, interesting engaging things to say. Mir: The other big change has been the advertising dollars, us being this huge consumer segment. Whether you have ads on your blog or not, it’s helping validate to other people that we’re worth paying attn. to.
Q: A mommy story: Wasn’t expecting motherhood to be so isolating. Hard to find anyone who was being real about it. Also: Mommybloggers get all the backlash. What about daddybloggers? Tracey: THey have penises. Asker: Why are we the ones getting that backlash? Alice: There were daddybloggers in that NYT article. Mir: Perceived as much more novel for men to be involved in parenting [sarcastically] Good for you!
Q: Catherine: my confidence as a woman, what i can do while staying home. starting my mom blog has totally changed the way I look at myself as a woman, and in the world. Alice: Helps me as a parent, to step back and get perspective.
Q: Grace Davis: Please do not diminish the title mommyblogger. I see it as equivalent to our LBGT when they use “queer” or “fag.” Taking it back. We need to continue to deflect the bullshit. [Something about a post written about mommybloggers here. Am trying to get scoop.] [Here it is.] [there was more talking but I missed it.]
Jill Asher, S.V.M.B. ref’d above: Your thoughts on using profanity on your mommyblog and what that does. Tracey: Oh shit. I should be the person to address that. [clarification of question] To me it’s a word, it’s how you employ it. Mir: I think it’s a very individual thing. Tracey: I don’t really see the problem. Marritt: My mom says stop using that blue language, you might be turning off someone who otherwise might agree with you. Marritt: Very valuable to cut loose and use strong language.