donk me up, tie me down

vicodin: word of day. yesterday’s word was something but i f’get, jg knows. typing w/ 1hand from bed. is like texting to you.

iam tired.

i am hating the lazy look of typing with one hand, so now am typing with two. Surgery was holy crap, a piece of cake, do it with one hand tied behind my back. to tell the truth i enjoyed going to sleep most of all. i take sleep where i can get it. now my skull is three teeth lighter. fortunately when i smile I’m not doing that ed norton/fight club bloody-mouth thing anymore.

My mom and I went to target this afternoon to fill my vicodin-substitute prescription. Suddenly my shopping inhibitions — my restraint — which are normally lowered in a target environment were suddenly gone. i bought two bottles of body lotion, a monkey [stuffed], King Kong DVD, a coffeemaker and Ho-ho’s.

Am sleepy. Am tasting hemoglobins. Am feeling like a tool for getting so worried about things. Last time I had mouth surgery, it was a bone graft for my upper mandibular type thing to rebuild it after the smashing, and that doc really put a hurt on me. Today was nothin’. A piece of piemonade.

Last time, my diary entry was like “GIGGADOOBABAGIGGY DOO DOO HEAD. Whopper down the hatch!” I was so stoned on whatever they gave me. Today it’s like, ” uh … fuzzy … sleep now.” Whatevs.

Owen was in a good mood all day. So cute. So friendly to the other ladies at the maxillofacial surgeons. I guess he was a good boy for my mom, too. Kept her hopping, of course, but he was a good boy.

More to say but it’s 7:51 and I am ready for bed. Thank you to everyone for the encouraging words. I love the internet. And I love you. And I love vicodin. And I love the office but I am going to miss it because I will be sleeping. Unless it coincides with my next dosage, in which case I am going to be eating some vanilla-caramel pudding fortified with Calci-YUM and watching it.

March 30, 2006 | Filed Under auto-categorized | 5 Comments

So, um, can I just have that Percoset now?

Nanoo, nanoo. I am getting so nervous about this surgery thing. Heart pounding and I feel sick. I kind of didn’t think about what it actually entails and now I’m thinking about having to get there and be put under and then wake up and then get my mom home from the place and how long is it going to take and how is Owen going to be at the dentist’s office and is he going to get hungry and how will I be without caffeine or nicotine that long. I really should have started weaning myself down a little bit before now. Frankly, I should quit altogether, but that scares me.

And gaping stitched-up holes and cotton gauze and no food and woozy-making drugs and what if I sleep all day, how is my mom going to take care of Owen? I won’t be awake to tell her that he likes to go into the laundry room and just look at the vacuum cleaner every once in a while. (He does. I don’t know why, but he does.)

And I didn’t get the house very clean and my mom’s on the road and I don’t think she has this number and what if she gets to the house before I get home and she has to wait in the driveway for an hour and Owen might be coming down with something and I feel like I forgot to do something important this morning.

Right. So. Can I have an advance on those drugs, then? That’d be SWELL.

March 29, 2006 | Filed Under auto-categorized | 11 Comments

Gonna be a stoned blogging party inside my mouth

… and you’re invited!

I’m getting my wisdom teeth pulled on Thursday. Woohoo, general anesthetic!

And my mom is coming in from Ohio tomorrow afternoon to play with the baby while I recover. Woo hoo, familial support!

So, next time I’m on here I’ll probably be donked up on some high quality codeine, dribbling milkshake down my chin and staring through bleary squinty eyes as my brain goes CHOO CHOO CRAZY from the drugs and the pain. Woohoo!

Bring it! Get these fuckers out of my mouth!

March 28, 2006 | Filed Under other | 10 Comments

Anyone else find Glenn Miller incredibly calming?

I didn’t even know I had any Glenn Miller. Thank goodness for shuffle.

March 27, 2006 | Filed Under minutiae | 4 Comments

Fuck Pomo

Speaking of pants and cars, let me say this: Beware of reading too many symbols. One is schooled these days in reading symbols; in the postmodern universe where there is no presumed center, no deep identity, no final truth, one falls back, overmuch I think, on reading symbols. The Dockers, for instance, symbolize ignorance and futility. Working in a record store symbolizes fidelity to aesthetic ideals; working in an insurance company symbolizes capitulation.

But in the complicated, fractal, material world, sometimes a job is just a job and sometimes pants are just pants. If you have a core self, if you have an identity, then you are the same person no matter what pants you wear or what job you work.

Thank you, Cary Tennis, that’s what I was thinking, too.

March 27, 2006 | Filed Under auto-categorized | 2 Comments

New and greater levels of nerdery: Torrents

So I’m trying to learn about torrents and how the hell to use the Azureus client I downloaded. Like, I get the concept of torrents — upload, download, many people, much fast, etc — but I can’t figure out the first step in actually downloading something. There is some level of understanding that I just do not have yet.

Am reminded of when I just started out with the ol’ blog, having to learn HTML and just how things work. So now I understand that, and I understand RSS and XML (y’know, in theory), and I can use it and navigate around in there just fine, but this torrent stuff (and, uh, some of the DVD-burning I’m trying to figure out) is just way over my head.

Since I was unemployed and childless when I started blogging, I get the feeling the learning curve for this shit is going to be waaaaay steeper.

***

Tra la la la — Even more nerdery required to forward ports and figure out how to get the torrent file, but I think I got it. Go dog go it’s green ahead!

Port Forwarding (holy CRAP that’s useful)
Azureus on Wikipedia
How to make a TV RSS feed [via lifehacker]
I love me some Office

If I get this to work I’m gonna slap my own ass in congratulations. Wow.

March 26, 2006 | Filed Under geek | 3 Comments

Furniture porn is also bad for you

The Baltimore Sun delivers our Sunday ad stack on Friday night, which gives me all weekend to drool over the Ikea flyer and the Home Depot sales.

I know it’s silly. It’s futile. It’s a daydream printed on 50% post-consumer recycled paper. I mean, technically we have the money to remodel our bathroom, tear up the ugly-ass carpet in all the downstairs rooms, repaint, buy new window treatments, get new furniture that isn’t third-degree hand-me-downs covered in remnant fabric, and buy a bed that isn’t 15 years old and supported by a set of free weights …

But then we’d have no nest egg to see us through a teacher’s summer, when Iain is home with Owen and I still work part-time. We’d have nothing for emergencies, no fund for traveling to Ohio or California [Blogher!], no way to pay the 72% rate hike BGE is pushing for July. Sigh.

But oh, how happy I’d be! Imagine, real furniture! Floors that didn’t have spit-up stains, curtains that weren’t hung in 1982!

Ah. Well. A girl can dream, can’t she?

Anyway, if the bathroom door is closed, don’t come a-knocking. I’ll be in there, paging through the Sears catalog for stainless steel appliances, and I won’t want to be interrupted.

March 26, 2006 | Filed Under house | 6 Comments

It’s the least I can do

In exchange for getting up with Owen at the literal crack of dawn (first light at 5:45 a.m. [I’m seriously considering tinfoil]) — I let him watch his Ready Set Learn DVD for entirely too long while I sip coffee and catch up on my blogs.

Hey, everybody wins. I mean, except my sleep bank, but hey, who’s counting?

March 24, 2006 | Filed Under baby, motherhood | 4 Comments