My Constipated Baby

Great title for a Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, huh?

So apparently the formula I put Owen on has caused his insides to jam up harder than 95 at rush hour. He grunts and groans and cries and turns red, but nothing will bring on the poop. This is a very sad thing.

So I called the doc and she gave me a few remedies, including “rectal stimulation” by means of inserting a thermometer up the bum, kid-size suppositories, and apple juice as a laxative.

Obviously, we went with the A.J. first. Didn’t work. So I found myself, at 6 a.m., trying to gently and lovingly put a vaseline-coated glycerin suppository up my three-week-old infant’s butt.

Thank God it worked; the little thing shot right out again, along with two days of baby poo. I’ve never been so happy to see a dirty diaper.

You know, nobody ever told me I would have to put things up my baby’s butt. That was not in the job description. But that’s motherhood, I’m learning: loving somebody so much that you’d stick something up their bumside to make them more comfortable. Wow.

Unfortunately, Owen’s been grunting and groaning and turning red again today, even though I switched formulas, and it’s been 25 hours since his last poop. I really, really hope he brings one on naturally, because as much as I love him, I do not want to have another Suppository Experience. I don’t really think he does, either.

January 26, 2005 | Filed Under baby, family unit, motherhood

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Comments

3 Responses to “My Constipated Baby”

seadragon on January 26th, 2005 9:34 pm

Oh my god, that is too funny. Well, glad he’s doing better…
Ada on January 27th, 2005 2:27 am

I remember the first time I had to take Franklin’s (my son) temperature and we didn’t spring for the ear do-hickey. He was 5 months old.
I thought sticking a tube up my child’s bum would be just one more “never gonna happen, but lets be prepared” kind of things.

It happened. It was a little scary. I worried he was going to clench and, well, Jeeesus. Thank God he didn’t.
my baby is constipated on July 22nd, 2008 9:28 am

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