Portraits of Baltimore County

“Let me show you sometink ah-MAY-zink!” you purr, pouncing at us from your kiosk on the lower level of White Marsh Mall. You are wielding a back massager, hand lotion, tension-reducing vibrators, soothing facial cleansers made from the milk of some long-forgotten Yugoslavian yak.

Ah, you vixen, with your Eastern European accent, your Russian fingers snaking out to feel up my husband under the guise of “something amazing.” Your Estonian good looks. That Romanian physique. Your glossy Czech Republic tresses. And who could ignore those pouty Slovakian lips?

You and your Ukrainian sisters, lined up and ready for action, a new member of your troupe every time we visit. Where do you come from? Who is bringing you here? And dear God, why White Marsh Mall?

But more importantly, what is my husband going to do with 350 back massagers and five liters of yak lotion?

September 8, 2004 | Filed Under PoBCo

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Comments

3 Responses to “Portraits of Baltimore County”

Dani on September 8th, 2004 7:46 pm

Hmmm, you may not want to know the answer to that question.
dan on September 9th, 2004 12:42 pm

hey, next time you see her, get her phone number for me.
Or maybe I should just make a trip to the White Marsh Mall
Iain on September 9th, 2004 5:37 pm

Don’t worry babe, it’s under control.