Cars are dumb, and I am too.

So I got the car-recall thing taken care of this morning, at the ungodly hour of 8 a.m.

I went to the Chevy dealer down the street, which was weird, because I always go to a fast-lube kinda joint for my oil changes et cetera, and I haven’t been to a dealer since I bought the damn thing, so I didn’t really know the protocol.

Anyhow, dropped it off, and brought my big fat book with me into the waiting area, expecting to sit tight for the hour and a half it was expected to take to get fixed. But this woman came in and sat next to me, and for Christ’s sake was she a mouth breather. It was like she was snoring, all phlegmy and audible, louder even than the Early Show blaring from the TV. Set my teeth on edge.

So after 20 minutes of tapping my foot and surreptitiously putting my finger in my ear to block the rippling wheezing sound coming from my left, I had to get out. I walked to the Safeway, where I purchased my first-ever [that’s right, FIRST EVER] cup of Starbucks brand coffee. It was OK. Pretentious little cup of joe, nothing special in my opinion.

Anyhow, walked back, car is sitting out front. I light a cigarette and drink my coffee, again having no idea where the service guys were or if my car was already done or not even started, but noting with huge relief that SnoreLady was gone. I must have hung around that waiting room for 20 minutes like a big fat ignorant chump. Finally, the lead tech guy comes over and goes, “Uh, Mrs. E, your car’s done, has been for a while … you can leave now.” Ach. Such an idiot I am.

Anyway. Had this thought the other night: I want to start a regular feature on Supafine. I was gonna call it Portraits of Baltimore — POB — but figured Portraits of Baltimore County was a wee bit more accurate. The plan is to document the interesting strangers I meet in normal daily encounters, such as grocery shopping or making a fool out of myself at the auto shop, and profiling them in PoBCo. Of course, I’ll be careful not to provide too many identifying details for fear of libel and defamation charges, but that’s OK.

Anyway, SnoreLady was going to be the first, but I coopted her to do the tale above, so we’ll have to wait for next time.

Until that next time comes, I gotta get my ass to work [in my new-and-improved car, which I no longer fear exploding].

April 30, 2004 | Filed Under PoBCo