Apartments are for the birds.

Dear Ann Landers,

My husband and I have lived in the same apartment for almost two years, on the ground-floor of a three-story building.

We have a neighbor who lives directly above us, on the third floor, who enjoys decorating his porch with windchimes, plants, ribbons, and birdfeeders.

The only problem is this: he has at least 5 or 6 windchimes, which are always making noise; every time he waters his porch plants, the water runoff falls between the slats of his porch and the one below and lands on our patio, sometimes on our heads when we’re outside enjoying the fresh air; and most annoyingly, his birdfeeders seem to lose several pounds of birdseed each week. The birds will knock into it or take a little bit, or the wind will catch it, and a veritable shower of birdseed will fall down onto our patio or the grass just beyond it. Last week I swept up almost two gallons of birdseed that was clogging and carpeting our cement patio. And the birdseed always seems to fall in our drinks or in our hair when we’re sitting on the porch; not to mention that we’ve had some strange plants growing in the grass as a result of those seeds.

Ann, this guy is driving me batty. I want to tell him that if he wants a birdfeeder, he should build a net to make sure we don’t have to clean up after his mess.

What should we do?

Sincerely,
Going Apeshit in Baltimore, Maryland

April 29, 2004 | Filed Under neuroses