So I was trying to find my old SAT scores the other day [I know, I’m the worst kind of person]. While doing so, I unearthed an orange milk-crate which holds the vital manila envelopes of my life.

Browsing through these, I found several items of note:

• My first set of fake teeth, from just after the accident;
• one of my junior-high sketchbooks;
• and the zine I started in 10th grade.

Reading it, I had a mini-epiphany: that zine was basically my blog as a fetus. “Hey,” I said to myself. “Supafine isn’t so weird. You’ve been doing it since you were in pigtails.”

Therefore, I will humbly share with you the seminal Supafine entry, coincidentally the only article I ever wrote for my zine, which was called “Garfunkel” and which never made it past study hall. Unedited, blazing in all its sophomoric glory:

Opinionated High School Guys

This is a topic that really ticks me off. I am not sure if only Perrysburg guys are affected or what, but most of the teenage males at our school seem to have a problem with the feminist movement. This seems like a rash statement, I know, and probably doesn’t apply to all of them, but I have seen enough incidences to convince me that male bravado is running rampant.

First of all, take a good hard look at who answers questions in your classes. Girls almost always raise their hands before they speak, whereas the guys feel free to belt out whatever is on their mind. They are next to never scolded for their behavior, either. In fact, in one class of mine their answers, which are never seriously trying to answer the question, are often seen as comic relief. What’s worse, there are many times when girls attempt to answer the question but are drowned out! I know that I am somewhat intimidated to answer a question unless I’m absolutely sure of the answer, and that no one will shout it out before I say it.

Another thing that bothers me is the guy’s attitude toward women and girls in general. In lunch, not a day goes by without senior guys whistling and making catcalls at every single female who passes by. Guys’ conversatons [sic] are always filled with hidden meanings too. You can’t be sure what they mean when they talk. My discussions in biology class don’t always have to do with the stamen and petals of a flower, I’m sure.

Roar! This makes me so ticked off. These boys need to get it through their heads that the macho attitudes have got to go.

Wow. [Is it any wonder I was a total loser in high school?].

The zine, then the diary [and we’ve seen how awful that can get], my columns for the BG News, and now Supafine … well, you know what they say, the unexamined life and all that.

Just thought I’d share.

This post brought to you by: Stupidity Tries from the album “Figure Eight” by Elliott Smith.