Deadlines?

Deadlines? We don’t need no steenkin’ deadlines!

Yesterday I was uncomfortable in my shirt. Today i was uncomfortable in my ass-smashing pants. I think the problem is … I’m uncomfortable in my skin. I don’t know why I am so fat. I honestly can’t wear last year’s pants anymore. I am only carrying about 8 -10 extra pounds, but a 5’4” frame is not enough to stretch that out over … plus I am not carrying it in my damn tits, where I could use the help.

Fuck fuck fuck. Okay, this is it, i better wake up fucking ecstatic tomorrow. I will eat nothing but water and flavored water, and I will exercise for 3 hours. Four days of that and I’ll be good as new. Barring that … it’s back to the old tried-and-true method: sustain a massive head/face/mouth injury. I’ll be back down to 95 lbs in no time.

Fuck! I thought cigarettes were supposed to be a damn diet aid!

March 26, 2003 | Filed Under auto-categorized