On the road to self-improvement.
On the road to self-improvement.
Awoke early enough to work out before breakfast. Discovered, by reading my library copy of SHAPE, that I must increase both the cardio and the strength training I’ve been doing. I hardly broke a sweat today — which is not to say that I wasn’t working. But I wasn’t dripping buckets like last time.
I’m seriously considering joining a gym. Shall research more later. Am envisioning buns of steel, abs of steel, wee MB kicking major ass … mmmm (drools).
Smoking front: Yeah, so I still haven’t quit. I bought a pack of “CAMEL Crema: Creamy and Indulgent Tobacco” cigarettes today. They’re supposed to taste like vanilla. They’re OK. No one in Maryland sells my damn Kamel Red Lights, though, which is annoying.
Home front: Iain is sick today. His “twice-a-year” flu has turned into a quarterly flu. I bought him some Nyquil to stand in my stead while I am at work tomorrow. Wish I could be there to take care of him. This bout of sickness is possibly related to the snow we had today; thankfully, it’s supposed to get into the mid-70s by Thursday.
Apparel front: So I bought a pair of Italian leather sandals today … mmmm, discount. They’ll be perfect for when I can fit into last year’s summer clothes again … and for when the damn weather warms up. Would still like a new pair of short pants and a skirt to wear to work. I shall dress to impress. Perhaps not the suits and twinsets; am leaning toward urban chic [not Shaft MB, as was a previous fashion faux pas].
Dammit.
OK. Deep, introspective piece I wrote Friday disappeared into the abyss when my computer crashed.
So you’ll get this mini-recap instead.
Friday: Went to Target, bought scale. Weight: 115, much more reasonable. Worked out again. Felt happy and much more self-positive, much less obsessive.
Happy hour at the pub, where we, plus TM and SC, debated this: Can absolute morality exist without God? Absolute morality = there is at least one thing that is wrong for everyone, no matter what. Points of discussion: Random killing of bar patrons, notion of morality inherent in natural selection and natural law, evolution, Nazi Germany, orangutan rape, cell phones in schools. The argument came to a draw, to be continued next week, same bat time, same bat channel.
Saturday: Iain and I visited REI to check out boots, tents, new packs, new sleeping bags. He’s definitely getting back to Wyoming this summer. I probably wont’ get to go, because of work and all, but that’s OK.
Grilled chicken for dinner, then a game of cribbage, which I skunked him on.
New addition: My aunt’n’uncle had their fourth baby this weekend, Jacob Curtis, bringing the number of cousins I have to 11, 10 of them boys.
Sigh .. I wish I had saved that brilliant entry from Friday. I finally hashed out all my self-image concerns, figured out all that shit, laid it out. But .. That’s an analog line for you. That’s crapAOL for you. Brilliance deleted in the blink of an eye. At any rate, at least it got into my head, if not into yours.
P.S. Soon-to-be farewell for PhotoDan, as he is packing bags for a short move to Australia. He has managed to escape the clutches of Sandusky, and for this he deserves hearty applause. Wish him well on his voyage down under.
Not pregnant!
The internet: Taking the work out of everything.
Phew! So I took my online pregnancy test and I’m unpregnant. It was so easy and convenient! These statistics were revealed to me, regarding my eventual first-born child:
Sex: female
Birth weight: 18 lbs. 0 oz.
Length at birth: 5 inches
Chance of mangling birth-defect: 7%
Most likely defect: March of Dimes.
Looks like it’s smooth sailing.
I went “grandma-shopping,” i.e. look but don’t buy. And then I had a high-protein semi-healthy lunch of tuna, crackers and water and then I worked out for a while and then I did more grandma-shopping. Then we had steak for dinner and watched the Friends re-runs, one of which was interrupted for like 10 minutes so that “News Central” could tell us that yes, a man in Baghdad was drinking tea today. Then it was “Scrubs.”
Good day, all around. Between the meeting and the exercise endorphins, I’m feeling pretty damn good … much unlike the past two days. I’m leaving the posts on there, but I’m warning you all to take them with a grain of salt, as I was very moody and possibly hormonal.
Deadlines?
Deadlines? We don’t need no steenkin’ deadlines!
Yesterday I was uncomfortable in my shirt. Today i was uncomfortable in my ass-smashing pants. I think the problem is … I’m uncomfortable in my skin. I don’t know why I am so fat. I honestly can’t wear last year’s pants anymore. I am only carrying about 8 -10 extra pounds, but a 5’4” frame is not enough to stretch that out over … plus I am not carrying it in my damn tits, where I could use the help.
Fuck fuck fuck. Okay, this is it, i better wake up fucking ecstatic tomorrow. I will eat nothing but water and flavored water, and I will exercise for 3 hours. Four days of that and I’ll be good as new. Barring that … it’s back to the old tried-and-true method: sustain a massive head/face/mouth injury. I’ll be back down to 95 lbs in no time.
Fuck! I thought cigarettes were supposed to be a damn diet aid!
For promotional use only.
For promotional use only. Not for rent or resale.
One bonus about working for a newspaper again: free stuff. Crappy free stuff, but hell. Promo videos of Bad Boys, Sugar and Spice and … Strange Days, i think. Haven’t seen any of them, but they looked more promising [albeit only marginally] than a story about alien ducks coming to Earth to take over the world.
Crappy day, today, actually. I was self-conscious in the shirt i was wearing [a little too clingy and low-cut] and my new glasses.
I had diet Dr Pepper, lo-fat crackers, and a lean-cuisine dinner — fucking diet bullshit is ridiculous. It all tastes like shit.
And then, when I got home, a sign on the door notified me that all the parking spots in the lot in front of my building must be vacated before 7:30 a.m. There’s not another spot to be had for miles … so I have to get up at 5:45 or whatever make-believe time Iain actually leaves for school so I can take his spot and not get towed.
All right. Now it’s time to read a bit and get my blood pressure into an acceptable range before I attempt to sleep. Fuck. I hope I wake up happy tomorrow, or someone’s gonna get the finger. And I really hate to do that.
“Holes.”
“Holes. The book is now the movie.”
Talk about a really bad tagline.
Anyway. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. It was at least 70 today, sunshiny goodness. I got my new glasses .. it’s Jill Stuart, not Jill Scott. Not that it matters. But i love these things: it’s like putting on a pair of binoculars everyday! I can see shit! And shit’s pretty!
So, turns out I’m not the only one disappointed by the Awards last night. Other people are just more adept at expressing my thoughts for me.
And I was really disappointed that people booed Michael Moore. I mean, really. It’s like his job to dis Bush. (Ahem) He wins awards for that kind of thing.
OK. Not really that much happenin’. I’m going to upload some pictures I drew to my website, so check ‘em out.
Hmmm … ninjas.
Hmmm … ninjas.
Stupid Awards.
Why, why isn’t Steve Martin funny anymore?
Oscars are on … ucky ucky. I don’t think I’ve watched these before .. and I have a strong feeling i wasn’t missing anything. What a crock. What a crock of wrong-winning, self-absorbed, unentertaining bullshit.
I was really looking forward to a little diversion from the gutwrenching war coverage today … but Mr Oscar ain’t it. Why am I even surprised …
Speaking of gutwrenching war coverage … I almost couldn’t take it today. It was like Sept. 12 all over again … when it’s still new, and they keep uncovering gruesome stuff, and you haven’t become immunized to it yet. They interviewed Hudson’s mother from New Mexico, and they showed footage of actual dead Iraquis, and I almost lost it.
I want this to be over.
In other news: I am so sick of people appropriating and remixing Simon and Garfunkel tunes to hawk Gap pants and insurance and shit. Take a perfectly good mellow song and turn it into crap. How awful. You know, Simon’s singing right now, at the awards.
I also saw a Penneys’ ad today, featuring the lyrics “I am a one-girl revolution,” or something to that effect. Right, all the demure blonde Rrrevolutionaries are gonna be fighting for freedom in pastel twinsets and matching capris from a discount department store. Ugh. Please. If you’re gonna go girlpower [and please … find a new fad cause] do it authentically. I want to see some fat women. Lesbians. Chicanas. Blacks. Asians. Ugly people. Intelligent people. Sympathetic men. Poor women. Pregnant teens. I do not want my revolution hogged by J.C. Penney catalog models.
Other things pissing me off: “12 U.S. military personnel were captured today, including a woman.” Why they gotta say that, “including a woman”? What’s the underlying motivation? Why not “12 soldiers were captured today, including 11 men.” Or “four brown-eyed people.” or “seven blonds.” If she’s in the military, she’s in the military, just like those guys. The whole “women and children first” thing …
On the other hand .. maybe it’s raising awareness of women’s increasing involvement in the military. We’re tough too. We get captured and fight for our country too. Hmm .. maybe it goes both ways. I haven’t decided.
Boy, am I cranky today.
Woo hoo!
Woo hoo! Mad Libs update!! My girl Carrie has graciously donated several for my site. Click above or visit my site to see ‘em. There are also some on there by me, Iain, Matt S. and my little sis, Brownie Mix.
A Poem.
“I got a bratty brother
bugs me every day
and this morning my own mother
gave my last cupcake away.
My dad acts like he belongs
he belongs in a zoo
i’m the saddest kid
in grade number two.”
So Iain’s learning blues/jazz harmonica today. It’s nice to have him wailing away on guitar and his “tin sandwich,” providing a little live music.
Today was a really good day. I liked myself, you know? Only when I’m having a self-positive day, like today, that I realize how down on myself i am the rest of the time.
I’ve been feeling fat lately, I’m not entirely sure why. But today as I was reading my new BUST I realized that I’d rather feel fat then be dead … the conclusion being that I can either eat, and live, or starve myself, and be skinny, but dead. I choose option A. Amazing how I forget this stuff ‘til I look at something other than Fox or Victoria’s Secret catalogues.
Also picked up BITCH today. And i was realizing, as I was perusing Barnes and Noble [yeah, it’s commercial, but it’s convenient and also stocks my two fave mags, so i’m not complaining] that I have a whole lotta interests. I started in periodicals [art, current affairs], moved to fiction [looking for a new Marian Keyes] then to Current Affairs, then to Media and Journalism, then to Web Design and Development. It’s a tiny thing, but having many sections to include in my store-wide browse makes me feel happy.
More femi-political thoughts coming later, when I’m done reading my magazines.
recent flickr
-
my sewing tutorials
See my tutorials featured on SMS' Handmade Holidays!
